Postpartum depression and anxiety are topics that are rarely talked about right? Like the actual reality of it. I'm 3 months in but I still have my moments in which my mind is a battlefield. (WARNING: there may be some graphic content) 

I was at a wedding with my husband Storm and our Journey girl not too long ago. My good friend was getting ready to say her sweet I do's to her beloved at The Vintage Rose in Orange, California. Battling PPD/PPA there are many moments where I just wanted to isolate myself and hibernate in a little tiny hole somewhere. So, I was thankful to be out, even though it took us forever to get our lives together with our 2 month old. The time was near where I had to take Journey to the bathroom for a diaper change. I grabbed her diaper bag, gave my husband a kiss, and headed towards the bathroom. There was no actual changing table in there. However, there was a table large enough to give my babes a change. I set her changing pad down and then all of a sudden this vision of my daughter cracking her head open on the floor floods my mind. I breathe and feel like everything is caving in on me. I ask myself, "Why the heck did my mind just go there??!!'" I beat myself up about it, I'm upset and above all I'm ANXIOUS. 

These moments are numerous and come up on different occasions, they aren't easy, and yes they are REAL. Know that you're not alone mama, you're going to get through it. When these visions and thoughts cloud your mind remember that your baby is safe, healthy, and perfectly fine. Take it one moment at a time and don't allow one negative thought to become your reality. Do not make something that hasn't happened create more anxiety for you. There is so much more to PPD/PPA that isn't discussed here. However, this is something I feel a lot of mums are afraid to discuss. So here are some tips that have helped me move forward.

1. TALK TO SOMEONE, a friend or a fellow mum. Doing so reminds you that you're not alone in this. Community support is more important than you think. 

2. DONT WAIT to talk to someone. Do it right away. This allows you to move forward quicker, you don't want to get to a place of isolation. 

3. DON'T THINK IT'S JUST GOING TO GO AWAY. Mamas this takes time. Give yourself grace and don't be so hard on yourself.

     4. SELF-CARE. Doing something for you EVERY WEEK. Don't feel guilty for leaving your little babe with someone you trust  for an hour tor 2! Go on a walk BY YOURSELF, get a mani-pedi, grab a coffee and read at a local Starbucks or whatever else gives you some peace of mind. It's healthy and is NEEDED to have some time for yourself. Again, DON'T FEEL GUILTY. 

Healthy mum equals healthy baby. Remember that.