This morning I woke up the same way I do every day, in a rush trying to feed kids and get everyone ready. 

See I am a mother of three kids and I am only in my early 30s. There was a time where I expected more from my life or a different life.

I never thought I would be homeschooling my kids or being a stay-at-home mother. And yet here I am. Most recently I have found my life to be in repeat mode where nothing is exciting and little to nothing is bringing me joy. 

And yes it did cross my mind by chance I could simply be depressed or maybe that is not it at all. See before motherhood, I was knowing what I wanted and had a vision for my life. I had plans and ideas of what would come next and how I was going to accomplish my dreams. 

As you can see, things may not have went exactly to plan, and now I find myself trying to gain that old life back that I crave so much. 

As I sit and drink my coffee, I think about what could possibly be missing from my life or what I need in it. 

I see my children laughing and playing, our television is on maximum volume and there is hundreds of building blocks all over my kitchen cupboard.

This life should be bringing me joy, this life should always be bringing me all the happiness, so here I am feeling guilty for not being content in what I have. 

Today might not be the day I figure out what is missing from my life, but coffee might help get through the chaos of today at least.